Reply to Are men happier than women in marriage at midlife?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's amazing to me to contrast the comments in this thread--where everyone seems certain that women are screwed over by marriage--with the threads where women are pissed that they can't get a man to settle down and marry. Why is it that worldly, well educated women want something that is so bad for them?[/quote]

It *amazes* you that two different groups of women could say different things? Your mind will be completely blown, then, when you hear that there are even more groups of women: women who love being married, women who are completely indifferent to it, women who think marriage is evil, women who want to be married but only if they find a man who is obviously devoted to them, and so on and so forth. The group who is "pissed that they can't get a man to settle down and marry" is fast dwindling, however. [/quote]

I think you misunderstood the point or you are arguing in bad faith.

If it is so well understood that women get a raw deal in marriage, why are so many well educated and/or smart women (who should know this well understood fact) so adamant about getting married? Maybe women aren't in fact getting a raw deal. Or maybe they know it's bad but nevertheless want it. But it points to either dishonesty or ignorance, or a combination.

[/quote]

I am not misunderstanding the point. But your point in the first post assumes that the women who know that marriage is bad for women are the same women who are pissed they can't get a man to propose ("why is it that educated women want something that is so bad for them?").

You cannot derive any conclusions about who marriage is best for based on the fact that there are educated women who are actually, seriously upset that they can't get a man to propose to them. You can use your imagine to figure out why some women think this way even though other women believe marriage benefits men more.

Based on there research I've seen, my conclusion is that a marriage in which both partners work but the woman still does more childcare and housework benefits men more (and that constitutes a *high* percentage of marriages), but a truly good marriage is an overall benefit to both genders. [/quote]

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