Reply to In-laws are mad that we are inviting others to Christmas dinner. How to resolve this?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here’s perspective from the other side:

I’ve had my family disinvited to Thanksgiving at a friend’s house and a 1st birthday party. In both situations we had known each other for 20 years but weren’t best friends or anything. The reason the friends gave was that they were hosting more ILs than expected or that extra family was coming into town. I told them I understood, of course, and made all the right polite remarks, but I’m not friends with those people anymore because it hurt to get told we were welcome until we weren’t. It’s always awkward to be the little family of outsiders that’s invited to another family’s event, but we’re used to that. We’re not used to the discomfort and shame of being told we’re uninvited! Relationships are built on trust and it’s hard to trust people who rescind invitations for major holidays.

If you listen to all of these PPs saying “family first”, that’s fine, OP, just be sure that you really care more about keeping your ILs happy for one day than for the company of your neighbors. [/quote]

But did you first tell your friends that you weren't comfortable with the extra family being invited?  Because that's what happened here.[/quote]

Reading comprehension. I *was* the “extra” family. Not the ILs. [/quote]

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