Reply to Thoughts on Rives or Sutton for APS SB?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Vell Rives is gross. No way I'd fall for his spiel. The people who are voting for him are either Trump-Youngkin accolytes - even if they won't admit to it out loud - or they are not very bright. [/quote]

I’m Middle Eastern. I voted Democrat all my life and hate Trump. I’m sick of Arlington Democrats getting involved in what is supposed to be a non-partisan position. I will be voting for Rives because of that. Also democrats have lost their mind on the trans issue.[/quote]

Do you have school-aged children with trans friends? The Republicans are the ones who have lost their minds; trans kids and their families have just been going along, living their lives in Arlington until Republicans freaked out.

(I'm not saying life is easy for trans kids, to be clear. But none of the nightmare scenarios Rs are squawking about had any basis in reality)[/quote]

Middle eastern poster here. There are no republicans running in Arlington. No democrats have lost their minds. I support kids being able to identify with the gender they are most comfortable with. I support trans kids being able to use the bathroom that matches their gender identity. What I do not support is the right of schools to hide a student’s gender identity from their parents. That’s absolutely insane. As a parent, I have the right to know if my child is suddenly identifying with a different gender than their gender assigned at birth, no ifs and buts. [/quote]

If you are someone your kid feels safe telling, they will tell you.

And I hope you work every day to be that parent.

But a child's wellbeing is more important than your feelings. [/quote]

Again its very simple. The parent has the right to determine what is in their own child's well being.  So I decide the child's well being, not the school. Just like I have the right to make the determination on the most mundane of things - i.e. whether my child can go on a field trip. I should have the right to know/determine whether my child is being treated as the gender opposite to their gender assigned at birth. This is a dangerous slippery slope - imagine  the reverse - if conservatives were in power and we had no rights as parents?  That's why I'm also against the portion of Youngkin's guidance where teachers, against the child's parents wishes, have the right to refer to a student by pronouns corresponding to that student's gender assigned at birth even if the parents want the opposite. Again this infringes on parental rights because in the end it should be up to the parent, not the teacher.  Now there are situations where teachers suspect abuse and there are laws for that. Teachers are mandated reporters.[/quote]

It isn't "parents' rights." It's the right of the child to use pronouns they want to use and to have people call them by a name they want to be called.  The only "right" relative to parents here is whether or not the teacher/school is obligated to notify the parent of such pronoun/name usage. Again, when it comes to sports, parents already need to grant permission and should already be aware of what sport/team their kids are trying out for or participating in. Kids should have rights, too; like who they play with on the playground and sit with at lunch. Or do you expect to be notified about all the kids yours are interacting with so you can grant permission for them to interact with specific classmates or not?[/quote]

Liberal arguments don't make sense here. This is a common one I see. Your argument minimizes identifying with a gender, like its a nickname or choosing a friend. Yet if someone says kids schools can identify and treat students by their gender assigned at birth/biological sex, then liberals start screaming that this will cause the child to commit suicide. Either its something inconsequential, like a nickname, or its something serious/consequential.Pick one.[/quote]

I think it's more complicated than that. There are many students where it isn't going to be a matter of life and death; but there are some for whom it is.  I really don't believe every student going by a different pronoun is actually genuinely identifying as a different gender. Many are; but it's also a "thing" and can also be part of an adolescent experimenting and exploring as they figure life out.

There's a significant difference between pronouns/names and which sport the kid can play on or which bathroom they use.  I don't think a teacher should have to disregard the former; but the school should have policies and procedures in place for the latter. Like it has already been pointed out, if a boy is trying out for a girls' team, the parents already should know because parents already have to give permission for their kids to do sports. Surely they're going to figure out or learn what team their kid is playing on.

And yes, if my daughter were insisting on being referred to as "him/he," I would prefer to know. But I don't think the teacher should be forbidden from accommodating my child without my permission.  If my daughter's name were "Jennifer" and we always called her "Jennifer" but she really wanted to go by "Jenny" away from home/family, I'd expect her teacher to respect that without my permission.  If she's caught fooling around with another girl or a boy in the restroom or behind the school, or with drugs, or breaking other critical rules, I should be notified regardless.

I just don't see why there can't be a process the SCHOOL can follow whereby if a student requests other pronouns or whatnot, the school appropriately has a conversation with the child to determine the bigger situation and professionally - ie, via the trained mental health and social worker staff - contact the parents to let them know that their child is exhibiting signs or behaviors or whatever that are important to be aware of. yadda yadda yadda...however it's best medically and psychologically to be handled. If the school believes the child would be harmed or in a dangerous situation by contacting the parents, that should have a process. The important thing is that the child is getting the assistance that child needs, not that the parents give their child permission to do these things.
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