Reply to 6th grade DD is being excluded from social events with longtime friends

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Reply to "6th grade DD is being excluded from social events with longtime friends"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She needs to diversify friends. Never a good idea to have all eggs in one basket for this very reason. When this was happening with my DD it was b/c she wasn't mature enough at the time: still enjoyed kid things, wasn't interested in boys, etc. And that's fine. But . . .

It's still a jerk move for the kids. 
It's a jerk move for the parents, who ABSOLUTELY know.
As long as their jerk kids are included, the jerk moms don't care that yours is not. Fact. And any attempts to call them on it will backfire on you and your kid. I've seen it happen a million times with other kids (not my own as I know better).

If you're recoiling at the word jerk, it's b/c you are one. Do better. Teach your kids better. You don't have to include everyone all the time. But these kids are openly excluding. Either speak up about why or quit being jerks.[/quote]

Respectfully and politely I disagree that parents know what's going on at this age. [b]I really don't know my child's friends these days because they are organizing themselves and I'm just driving my child and dropping her off at events. I recently found out, a year later, that one child I thought DD was hanging out with is not being included.[/b] There is nothing wrong with the friend. She has a great outgoing personality and is still adored by others but this child's interests and DD's diverged so they were no longer seeing each other in some of the informal get togethers when the girls would get together and shoot basketballs as one example or hang out and make Tiktok videos. At those informal get togethers the kids would then make more formal plans and whoever wasn't there was often not included. As soon as I noticed, I mentioned it to DD who was invited her to their next gathering and DD seemed really happy to see her old friend. I think this is different from what OP is going through but really at this age many parents just don't know the details.

If DD hadn't wanted to hang out with the old friend I'm not sure what I would have done. Probably I would have brought it up again and urged but not forced.[/quote]

Perfect example of a checked out parent. [/quote]

Sounds like a perfect example of a normal, healthy parent-child relationship in middle school to me.[/quote]

Agree.  Child of the 80s here and my parents were “checked out” in this way, and it was a much better upbringing than to be helicoptered.[/quote]

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