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[quote=Anonymous][quote]And most of you don't have the experience of having one kid for more than a short while, so you actually can't compare, though you might think you can. There's a difference between having only one for 2/4/whatever years, and then having two-- and having just one for 18 years. I don't think those people can say they've had one and they've had two, and X is harder. These are kind of unanswerable questions. [/quote]

+1000

I think people get into trouble when they just assume they know what it's like to have made a different choice. It's like people with kids who think they know who it's like to be child free, since of course they were child free until they had kids. But the situations are not actually comparable at all and you sound like a jerk for pretending they are. I have a very close friend who is mid-40s and unmarried and no kids. I don't pretend I know exactly what her life is like because obviously I don't, and vice versa. We are respectful of one another's choices and don't make presumptions.

You have to do that with fellow parents, too. In fact, you have to do that even if you have the same number of kids. I am the parent of an only and know a lot of other families with onlies and guess what, we're all different. Some things in common, some things not, you can't assume and you can't waste too much time comparing because it doesn't really get you anywhere.[/quote]

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