Reply to What do you do when your adult child goes into therapy and lays blame at your feet.

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[quote=Anonymous]I love what my mom did about this.

My mom really screwed up. Hoarding, yelling, calling us names, just a completely dysfunctional environment. Boy I have some stories! When I was younger I really wanted her to acknowledge how damaging this was for me, because I wanted to have a closer relationship with her and I wanted to feel emotionally safe around her. But she did the typical "I don't remember that," "you had it way better than I did," "I tried my best," "well I guess I'm just a terrible person," etc.

Then she changed. She started to genuinely say "sorry you didn't get what you needed, I did my best but I know I screwed up."

But I and my siblings kept bringing up our childhood.

Then she said, "Okay, look, I know I screwed up. And you all are entitled to tell me that and get an apology. But you only get one turn. Just one time in the arena to say your piece and then you have to stop bringing it up."

She said it in a way that was really sweet and genuine, and I thought the ask was totally fair. So I don't bring it up anymore. Not sure my siblings got the message, but I like how she handled it. [/quote]

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