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Reply to "SIL wants us to write her girls letters at camp"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you have to? No. But why wouldn’t you? It will take a few minutes and put a huge smile on your niece’s face. [/quote] Why won’t my husband? [/quote] [b]Because this sort of thing is a female thing. So is (in general), remembering birthdays and anniversaries[/b]. And women create these situations, and then get mad when their men forget to do it or don't do it the way the woman wanted it done. I'm a wife of 20+ years, and believe that once you see it the way I've outlined above, it can only benefit you, and save you from being angry in these situations.[/quote] It’s 1950s outdated sexist trash and “benefits” no one.[/quote] +100 I blame a lot of this on the rwnjs who are trying to put women in their place back in 1950.[/quote] Wow. some of you guys are just ADAMENT about not having a relationship with your DH's side of the family. Which, to be honest, feels like you're just setting yourselves up for failure[/quote] DP. Failure? What failure? Not writing postcards doesn't mean I don't have or don't want a relationship with my DH's side of the family. What I DO want is to be able to have relationships on my terms, not what is dictated by someone else, especially people who hold outdated, patriarchal attitudes about the role of women - that includes women with those attitudes. If my DH's family don't like what I bring to a relationship and how I bring it, fine. Choices should be respected. [/quote] Relationships are give and take, never solely on one side’s terms. And the relationship here in question is between OP and her niece/nephews.[/quote] Sure, but it's OP's SIL that's directing people to write. If writing a letter/postcard isn't OP's love language, she can easily find another way to foster the relationship - if she chooses. It's not like this is a one time opportunity. And, we all get to decide what we want to invest/do in a relationship. If the other person doesn't find that agreeable, they can choose to disengage. Each person has choices. [/quote]
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