Reply to Son and DIL asking for new vacation next year

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[quote=Anonymous]Feelings are feelings, and you have every right to feel stung by the implied criticism of a vacation that you love very much. But do I think your feelings are based on a valid injury? No.

I think that you may also be feeling the ground shifting under your feet, where you will no longer be the central person inviting [i]your[/i] friends and family to join your children, their spouses, and their children on a vacation of your choosing and organizing.

I think you have some very common issues with your DIL, as evidenced by your assuming this is her doing and suggesting she's finds your traditions "awful." If only pesky DIL didn't have her own ideas about how to spend her vacation, then everyone would go along with your orders, I mean, expectations, I mean, plans.

I think you should view it from their perspective, as people who have prioritized this family vacation year after year, yucking it up with their parents' friends, instead of starting their own family traditions or exploring new places with their finite vacation time. And I think you should see the impressive gentleness and forethought they've put into their proposal to change things while not only including you, but paying for you. I think you should accept that offer in the spirit in which it has been made.

And yes, you'll mourn the passing of the baton that signals that the next generation is stepping into shoes you hadn't quite expected to step out of so soon. That's totally normal.  It's OK to need a little time to adjust.

I hope when you shine a light on all of these deeper issues, the thought that you might reject this offer to say,[i] no! Fenwick or death! I can't skip a year! See you next year, Grandkids![/i] will seem as absurd as it should.[/quote]

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