Reply to Wife wants a house cleaner instead of preschool

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]I am constantly in awe that sahms have in the last 20 years created this narrative that their only duty during 8-6 every day should be attending to their children, and that other than loading the dishwasher and putting on laundry, it is an affront for them to do any other chores about the house.  [/b] [b]AMEN!![/b]

It's clearly a ridiculous untruth that exists solely in the minds of maybe the top 10% of households (because as people above have noted, obviously MOST women staying home with young kids are cleaning their house and don't have cleaners).  But I can't believe that it's become the dominant narrative on sites like this.  Do the people echoing this narrative really believe it? Or do you say it because you have to repeat it over and over to justify your set up?  Or are you trolls?  It's just be fascinating to watch this line of thinking evolve in the last 20 years.

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I’m a SAHM and we have a biweekly housecleaner. I still do cleaning and chores all day. She basically saves me from scrubbing the toilets and means every other week I don’t have to seriously vacuum or mop unless there’s a mess (I do high traffic areas every day because we have a dog). I wouldn’t mind dropping her if we needed to but it would have to be a joint decision. It sounds like OP wants to unilaterally reassign his wife to more cleaning and less childcare. She wants to do more childcare and less cleaning. They have to negotiate that. [/quote]

+1. I worked for 20 years, and now am a SAHM who “doesn’t work”  :roll:  It is WAY more exhausting being the SAHM, who doesn’t get to choose her breaks, have much downtime throughout the day, have kids constantly clinging to you and/or asking/whining for things. Not to mention, I DO clean, it just doesn’t always look like it. Try sweeping the kitchen floor every single day only for it to look a mess at 5 pm again anyway. Or washing the same dishes over and over and over again throughout the day for meals and snacks, only to have your spouse come home after the last time and wonder why dishes are in the sink so obviously you “didn’t do them.” My husband thought like PP and OP until the pandemic when he was suddenly home all the time and saw the constantly religion of cleaning up the same crap over and over like Sisyphus pushing a Boulder up a hill. Until YOU are the one doing it, take a seat.[/quote]

How are any of your cleaning problems remedied with a cleaner.  Doesn't the house get messed up 5 minutes after they are done and then stays that way until they return?  [b]Scrubbing a toilet takes what 5 minutes[/b]?  You do get breaks SAHM because no child is getting/needs 100% undivided attention during the day. [/quote]

Great, then YOU do it.[/quote]

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