Reply to Do you feel comfortable approaching your parents for help with large expenses?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PSA, if you get $$ from your parent(s) TELL YOUR SIBLINGS. And parents, if you are giving $$ to one kid, make sure you offer the same amount to every child.

Uneven financial support is THE quickest and easiest way for to ruin sibling relationships.

I’ve watched it ruin once positive relationships between many sets of siblings. Including my husband’s. [/quote]

If uneven financial assistance is a surefire path to strife among siblings, why would you disclose receipt of such help to your siblings??  It's your parents' money and they can do with it what they please; if that entails more (or exclusive) assistance to a struggling child, that's their choice.  Parading the news around if you are the recipient is likely to cause the strife you suggest.  Don't ask, don't tell![/quote]

DP. If the financial help is not disclosed, the other siblings will eventually find out anyway. People aren’t stupid and can do the math. Add alcohol and a few innocent questions at a family get together and you’ll find out. Has happened in my family and creates untold resentment. Parents can do whatever they want with their money, but it is not without consequences. [/quote]

I seriously cannot fathom someone truly believing that keeping that kind of information from their siblings. It's so fundamentally unethical. Am I the only one who sees this as extremely devious of the "struggling" sibling?  [/quote]

This is good advice.  My sibling let it slip out that I was not POA  and executor and they were.  I, at this point, assume I am completely cut out of the will and my sibling will get everything as when I asked everyone got funny and defensive.  I have pulled back and don't see them anymore as I now know where I stand.  I was pressured to stay close to them to handle things and it makes me furious that we turned  down moving for good opportunities because we wanted to keep our promise.  I am sure my sibling is getting a lot of money and gifts when I've  never so much as gotten a birthday gift nor have my kids.  I don't care about the money but I care about being  lied to.[/quote]

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