Reply to Divorce with kids - do you regret it?

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[quote=Anonymous]My marriage is in a rocky place and talking to my close friend who recently went through a divorce is really helpful for understanding pros and cons.  She is a high earner and so there were not any financial ramifications for the kids which I think makes a huge difference.

Negatives: 2 years later kids still ask her if she will get back together with their dad.  They have had a tough time letting go of the "dream of an intact family."  They seem to idealize family life.  My friend is sometimes really lonely on the weekends when she doesn't have the kids bc most of her friends are married with kids and weekends are busy with family time.  She sometime feels enormous pressure being the sole adult at home responsible for everything. She is very busy at work and online dating is a time suck and requires lots of filtering.

Positives:  She does not have to deal with her alcoholic ex anymore or constantly worry about his health and mental state.  She doesn't harbor the resentment of being the main breadwinner and the person doing everything at home.  She likes having more free time to pursue her own individual hobbies.  Loves having her own home and space as her personal sanctuary.

I think regretting a divorce is so dependent on your day to day situation.  Is the marriage just stagnant but day to life and family life is okay?  Or is there abuse/addiction chronic cheating involved.  I think having an untenable daily living situation in a marriage with fighting and deep resentment is not healthy.  But if it is just a question of not being "in love" then sometimes it is worth waiting until the kids are older. [/quote]

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