Reply to Do men really not care about a woman’s career?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think in reality that if a woman looked exactly like Meagan Fox, but worked as a Nanny she could still get any man she wanted.

Because overall men are very visually stimulated.

Not all &gt; but most. 😉[/quote]

I don’t know.  I don’t think the male fantasy is that she looks like Meagan Fox and works as a nanny.  I think the male fantasy is that she looks cute enough, but also that [i]because she is a nanny[/i] she has no ambition or desires in life, and will happily spend her days washing his dirty socks and cooking his favorite meals, then have hot sex by night.  I think in this fantasy she also has close friends and family that she can talk to about her problems, so she doesn’t have to bother him with them, but he never ever has to meet them, and she won’t mind moving away from them forever if that’s what’s best for him or his career.  
I think that she also has children, but they don’t take away from her devotion to him, and he only has to see them for an hour a day after they are bathed and fed (until, of course, they reach adolescence.  Then he will attend all of their games where they are the star player).
[/quote]

I don’t know a single UMC guy with the fantasy to marry someone who works as a nanny. If you’re educated and of an aspirational class, you have a nanny to do the laundry and prep dinner while your wife kicks ass at her amazing dream job. You’re capable of cooking amazing gourmet meals yourself and can afford the best restaurants. And you spend a lot of your free time with your children because it’s a privilege to get to know them.

Not much talk about problems and hot sex, sure. Though most of the men I meet socially in this class seem to pride themselves on being emotionally and intellectually available for deeper conversation.

What you’re describing sounds pretty basic and retrograde. It might be if guys are not very educated they don’t care what their wife does or they have this idea that women should be caretakers, but most men of a certain class want to be married to women who are “self-actualized” and can be an “equal companion” professionally and intellectually. That makes the whole family have a higher status. They have also internalized higher standards for themselves, because they think real intimacy involves connecting with your partner in a deeper way. Not saying any of this is better, necessarily, just saying that this is how these guys think. I went to school at Ivy+ and those guys might bang a nanny in the summer but they all dream of marrying a woman who is brilliant, accomplished, and beautiful and kind and all the rest. They dream of being a power couple. [/quote]

Both of these fantasies involve a woman doing all of the caretaking.  Whether it’s the nanny turned wife or the nanny acting as nanny, there seems to be an assumption that there are many, many women out there who want nothing more than to take care of all of the mundane aspects of some man’s life in order to support his flourishing career.  
These fantasy female caretakers don’t even seem to want a social life of their own.  They are available 24/7, do everything to a high standard, never complain, and are happy to just support from the background.  [/quote]

Big difference between being a nanny and being a woman who’s expected to fill that role after marriage.

Nanny gets a pay check and goes home at night. Nanny can quit at any time and get a different job, even start a different career. It’s not the same thing. For some people being a nanny is the best job they can get given the labor market so that’s the job they want. Very few UMC women, who are educated into a sense of unlimited life possibilities, dream of being a SAHM and not realizing any of their own talents and dreams. Very few women who have any sense of what’s out there will be happy indefinitely as SAHMs. [/quote]

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