Reply to Vent: “gift” of a trip that I don’t want and requires me to spend lots of money and time

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Reply to "Vent: “gift” of a trip that I don’t want and requires me to spend lots of money and time"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I empathize OP and I am in a similar situation with my own parents.

It helped when I thought of it this way- my parents want to celebrate a major milestone for them and the way they want to do that is to have their family around them.  They are asking us to participate in that celebration as a gift to them and doing a little bit to make it easier.

You are either willing to give them that gift, or not.  Either answer is obviously OK.  But where we landed was to give my parents that gift of letting them have their ideal celebration surrounded by family.  [/quote]

I love this. Very beautiful. OP, your in laws have tha audacity to what to spend time with their family at an important time/event for them. It’s one thing if you just can’t afford it, but you are definitely coming off as whiny and selfish. [/quote]

If OP’s in-laws had said “we’re celebrating our 70th at a national park and we’d love to have you join us”, and she was expecting them to pay, then yeah, she’d be whiny and selfish. But instead they said that they were “taking the whole family on a trip.”  The expectation is that they foot the bill. So no, she’s not being whiny. She’s right. [/quote]

I wrote the original post quoted.  I don't think OP is whiny at all.  She said she was going to go on the trip but wanted to vent about the way the ILs presented it.  That is fine.  They did not present or communicate it well.  My post was not to indicate that the ILs did nothing wrong.  IT was to suggest an alternate way to think about it that could ease the frustration/annoyance.  It is what worked for me in a similar situation.[/quote]

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