Reply to Vent: “gift” of a trip that I don’t want and requires me to spend lots of money and time

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Reply to "Vent: “gift” of a trip that I don’t want and requires me to spend lots of money and time"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This whole conversation makes me extremely anxious about my relationship with my future DILs/SILs.  Am i going to be expected to pay for time with my children in the future by footing the bill for everything always and if I don't I am A$$hole MIL?  Like if I want to plan a trip to go skiing, am I even allowed to ask if they want to come without assuming the costs for their flights, car, food, lift tickets, everything?  My only real splurge now is our family trips and there is no way in the future I can afford adding 3 spouses and all their children to the tab.  Isn't realistic to expect adults to pay some of their way?[/quote]
It’s fine to make it clear upfront that you’re just planning a family trip and everyone pays their way. And don’t badger your kids and their families if they’d rather not go on every single trip you propose.[/quote]

[b]I don't agree with treating adult DC's like young children you load into a car seat.[/b] We are older and retired.  When you are the retired older person where you invite your adult DC's and their partners/families [if they exist] is important for their time spent traveling and use of limited vacation time.  It's unrealistic to expect working adults or even post K-12 students to have the same degree of flexibility in going on their parents vacations as any parent had when the DC's were infants to grade 12.

There is a major world of difference in what could be command performances to places that require total air time over 6 hours plus checked ski gear plus a 1 hour drive from a less than 2.5 hour drive to local ski resorts.  And your gear never leaves the vehicle until it's unloaded at the destination.

Beach?  Rockville to Bethany 3 hours and 6 to Outer Banks.   When our kids were young and we trekked them to double or quadruple transportation time locations more than 1 of them said why do it again?  [/quote]

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