Reply to Vent: “gift” of a trip that I don’t want and requires me to spend lots of money and time

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Reply to "Vent: “gift” of a trip that I don’t want and requires me to spend lots of money and time"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This whole conversation makes me extremely anxious about my relationship with my future DILs/SILs.  Am i going to be expected to pay for time with my children in the future by footing the bill for everything always and if I don't I am A$$hole MIL?  Like if I want to plan a trip to go skiing, am I even allowed to ask if they want to come without assuming the costs for their flights, car, food, lift tickets, everything?  My only real splurge now is our family trips and there is no way in the future I can afford adding 3 spouses and all their children to the tab.  Isn't realistic to expect adults to pay some of their way?[/quote]

Not at all! My in-laws start a conversation like this. “We’re going on vacation this summer and we’d like you to join us. Do you have anything planned?” 
We say - not yet, what were you thinking. 
They say - let’s go to our timeshare in Colorado
We say - we’re not comfortable getting on a plane with Covid and the kids. What about something drivable? 
Them - ok - let’s pencil in a mid-Atlantic beach week
Us - great. Camp signups are done mid-Feb. what week should we leave open?

They do end up paying for the house - but we didn’t have to fly if we didn’t want to and they collaborated about what week makes sense. We would go even if we paid for the house - because it’s a collective decision on location and we like spending time with them. [/quote]

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