Reply to For those well-meaning social workers

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP is getting a lot of negative feedback here. I don't think she deserves it.

From her posts it is obvious that she is angry, frustrated and tired. Are you surprised? Put yourselves in her shoes.

She's 3000 miles away from her home and her husband.

She's had to close her business (temporarily, I presume) so she's losing money (if no one else is looking after the business in her absence).

She's looking after 3 adults who are elderly and/or sick, 1 of whom is dying - 3000 miles from where OP lives.

She's had to deal with social workers, hospices, medical staff, various legislative issues, etc. Sounds like a nightmare.

She has mentioned that she comes from a very large family and she is one of 32 nieces and nephews. Most of them do nothing.
She has a sister but it is unclear if her sister is helping with caregiving.

OP is there, doing all the legwork.

I was in a similar situation once, although I didn't live 3000 miles from my sick parent. I was there, on my own, without my husband. I looked for more appropriate accommodation for my parent but either it wasn't available to him or he didn't qualify. And it didn't help that my parent could be very stubborn and difficult and that he cancelled his home aides and his cleaner behind my back.
No one in my family was helping and no one was listening. Social workers couldn't really help either. I was on my own. I get OP's anger and frustration. I really do. 
It's a lonely place to be.

[/quote]

Thank you PP. So much!! It’s 4:40 AM here on the west coast, and I’m awake because I went to the bathroom and always peek in on my aunt. Found her sitting in a chair, pee everywhere, etc, because she was too weak to make it to the bathroom. She’s lucky she made it to the chair. I could not lift her, had to call 911 for a lift assist. Even then it was everyone else’s fault because ‘the chair was in her way’. Can barely speak but got the blame out just fine. I feel badly for her sure, but there’s nothing physically more I can do for her here, and she keeps telling Hospice she will not go into their lovely center. So she will die in probably a urine/poop soaked bed in the end or on the floor, that’s what the social worker said. Which is truly sad[/quote]

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