Reply to BIL called DH’s Mom a B****

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. DH decided we are not going to go and to not address the topic until everyone in the family (including himself) has calmed down. Instead, we’ll just spend Xmas locally with his parents and other sibling.

He told his sister that we will not join them for the holidays but will see them in Spring Break as we usually go there during that time if that’s ok. Her response was “Don’t bother.”

So there’s that. [/quote]

Sounds like your DH knows his family pretty well. Sometimes it is best to let tempers settle. His sister sounds very defensive, but that can be managed. Give everyone a little time and they can talk again in a few weeks. Then he starts that conversation with, “I know mom was wrong, but I still want the best relationship with her that we can have in the years she has left, and I also want to work together with you to ensure there are boundaries around her worst tendencies so they aren’t  so hurtful or impactful on you or my family, etc. How can we work together to have the best possible?” Then just think through some options for how that can be done as a team to show her that he is serious about finding productive ways to address the issues.[/quote]

This, its great that your husband recognizes that he needs space.  I would reach out again and say you are going on a skiing holiday but hopefully you can catch up with them in Spring Break and clear the air and that their relationship is important to you. I doubt anyone here wants your husband to forgo a relationship with his mother, its not about that, its really about keeping a relationship with your SIL and BIL if that is what you want to do.  [/quote]

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