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Reply to "DD17 refusing therapy post-abortion "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think everyone is making this a bigger deal than it is. When I was 17, I would have gotten an abortion with zero hesitation and moved on with my life. I wouldn’t have felt guilty or traumatized, just relief that I wasn’t stuck with a baby that young. It’s way different now at 35, I would likely need some sort of therapy since it would be a much heavier decision. I don’t get the need for all these discussions either. Maybe she missed a pill, most women do at some point. It happens. Ask if she wants to switch to Depo or an IUD, then drop it. Pushing her to talk about her sex life or relationship with her BF is going to be mortifying for her and won’t help anything. [/quote] Agreed. Abortion is not traumatic for most women of any age. If by the very rare chance that therapy is eventually needed, she'll likely figure this out on her own. I work at a university, and young women are very smart. They are so much better at advocating for themselves and finding resources than prior generations, and they're generally not shy about therapy. She and her boyfriend probably got lazy about birth control and made a mistake. It happens. She's probably not telling you 100% of the story of why her current BC [i]failed[/I]. She may be embarrassed about it. Whatever. What matters now is that they're both responsible about making sure it doesn't happen again. It's unfortunate her boyfriend's parents are treating her differently. If anything, it's a lesson that others often put the onus on women to be the gatekeepers of all things related to sexual desire, pregnancy, and child-rearing. If you haven't already, maybe you can acknowledge her concerns about their feelings towards her. [/quote] I mean, I’m pro choice and very sympathetic to op’s daughter but if their agreed upon bc was the pill (not a great idea on either kids part) the onus WAS on her and she agreed to that responsibility. The boyfriend was dumb for agreeing to trust a 17 year old to be perfect w pills and if his parents were aware of this they were dumb too. Having said that, if indeed the failure was because she “forgot a pill” then of course they are a bit leary. There are prob issues with them and their son involving trying to prevail him not to resume pill only sex. [/quote] No. No. No. NO. They are being cool toward her because they can’t be cool toward their dumbass son. Condoms, always, at 17. Condoms. Condoms. How many times do I have to say this? The onus was on BOTH OF THEM. At this age, everyone needs to BYOBC. Females? Pills, patch, ring, IUD, diaphragm, whatever. Males? Condoms. If one fails, you have a back up. [/quote]
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