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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The suggestion that in 2021, you need a sahw to fully allow a man to fully succeed in his career.... ? What world do you ladies live in?  Is this what you tell yourselves to justify your set ups?

I'm a partner in big law. Yes, twenty years ago the male partners all had sahws.  Not any more.  I look around my immediate team, and the partners' wives are: counsel for a major corporation (probably making $400k), counsel for a smaller company (makes $240k), special needs therapist, medical research doctor running a fancy national research program, G15 type job at state department, trophy wife and trophy wife.  The two trophy wife guys are both in their 60s and close to retirement.  Everyone else is 40s and 50s.  These guys work a ton, but are all involved in their kids and outsource appropriately at home.  Having someone at home folding their underwear is not remotely a necessity for their professional success.  No matter what you tell yourself.

I'm sure posters will respond and say that we don't all make high salaries like that. But the whole point of your argument is that your staying home supports your husband's career trajectory. So I assume he's making at least $300k. Most men making that kind of income statistically are married to women with equal income potential.  You ladies just opted out.

Men making $200k a year rarely have sahws in hcol areas like dc.    Most families all across america have two working parents. No one needs a sahw.

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Instead of a SAH spouse, you hired a nanny, gardner, housekeeper and others to do the work at home.  How is it any different?  Only difference is kids benefit from having a parent at home vs. being raised by a nanny who is a stranger.

Being big law and a high level working spouse, how many hours a week do you spend with your kids?  Do you help with the homework every night?  Cook them dinner?  Take them to activities?  Do bath, bedtime?  Play with them?  Teach them to read? [/quote]

My husband and I both work high level jobs, but we have flexibility. Pick up kids from school, play with them, teach them to read, homework duty, home cooked family dinner every night, chauffeur to play dates and activities.

When they were younger I WAH with a nanny, I flexed my hours so nanny covered mostly nap times. Then when they were half day preschool age, dad did drop off and I saw them at lunch. Nap with nanny and an hour or two of playtime then we were back. I know many other couples in our situation — doctors, lawyers, professors, etc. WAH is being normalized and flexible hours also. When your kids sleep 7-7 it’s easy to put in time when they are asleep and see them a lot. Now the ones in elementary still sleep 10 hours but they are in school until 4:30. So it does not have to be the impossible thing people make it out to be. Depends on your career path.[/quote]

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