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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a friend with three children who has been separated from her husband for two years and [b]he refuses to get a divorce. [/b]He has substance abuse problems and been in and out of rehab, has a difficult time holding a job and has had to have restraining orders laid on him. It’s a mess. If she “cheated” on him tomorrow I’d have no problem with it. [/quote]

You know that the husband’s permission is not required foe divorce - not in any state in the US? Your friend can file for divorce without having to cheat her wy out of the marriage.

Frankly, if she did cheat, it would only make a complicated and dramatic situation even worse.

I say this as a spouse who left a cheating, alcoholic mentally ill spouse who lost his job twice during our relationship.  I would have been fully entitled to cheat, in a tit for tat sense of ethics, but I recognized it was ethically wrong and would only complicate my situation.

Cheating is never justified. It’s also not a helpful or effective way out. Try individual therapy instead of cheating.  [/quote]

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