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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here- Just to clarify, I have a kid and I have dated people with kids before, so this is not new territory for me. I’ve had to cancel whole weekend plans because my ex bailed at the last minute on his weekend. The difference is, I never disappeared, I had a conversation like an adult and explained exactly what happened, was apologetic and offered something else. Re-reading the texts,  I did not see any empathy from this guy about my getting ready and waiting for him and getting the cancellation 10 minutes before he was supposed to get here! He treated it as a business transaction pretty much and cared more about the movie and refunding the tickets, nothing about my wellbeing, thats whats bothering me, not the kids[/quote]

And you aren't wrong for feeling that way. There's a way to treat people, and there's a way not to treat people.  I am a pp who married a guy with kids, and as you said there's a way you handle things when things with the kids come up that convey you care about the other person. I also dated other guys with kids who behaved more like this guy, who was frankly completely inconsiderate, and they were selfish in other ways too.  I don't want to be a jerk, but this guy is divorced for a reason, and that's probably because he's not great at treating his partner as he should.[/quote]

+1000.  I’m one of the prior posters who had a similar situation.  I was naive and responded to his bs like one of the prior posters recommended, which was to say “I understand.”  That ushered in a whole new era of him taking me for granted and treating me like crap.  You show people how you will allow yourself to be treated.  FWIW, here is the exact wording of the text he sent right at the time we were supposed to meet, after he’d been playing golf and was radio silent all morning and I’d ended up calling him several times to see if he was still going to meet me at the designated time:

“Ran into a snag.  Played so well today that we are in some kind of playoff.  I'm stuck here finishing this.  On the plus side it's totally fun.”

True this does not involve children, like OP’s situation. But it had the same elements of bailing at the last minute and not expressing any concern for the person he was bailing on.  The text doesn’t seem so bad, right?  I stupidly gave him the benefit of the doubt.  This person went on to ghost randomly, then reappear.  Say we would do things then completely fail to follow through.  Promised to get together for my birthday, then failed to contact me until 6 pm claiming he was comforting a friend who’s wife he died from cancer.  Lol - it was all lies, but packaged in a way that would make me look like a jerk if I complained.  People need to be aware that people like this exist and will seriously waste your time if you let them.  
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Op here- Sorry you had to go through that! And that’s the worst part about these situations: the gaslighting that makes you feel guilty or look crazy if you complain[/quote]

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