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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Adults do.  Similar to alcoholics.  They hide and perform all of the time - when out of the house or dating. [/quote]

Unfortuately, all the therapy that helps many with austism appear "normal" in order to get through school, college, find a partner, etc. is just masking. It becomes harder and harder to basically live a lie. After 20 years or more, they at least stop hiding it in the comfort of their homes and the fallout harms primarily the spouse. I had no idea of the kind of person my husband really was into about 4 years into the marriage and it got progessively worse. 20 years in, I am under constant verbal and emotional abuse. I woud never have married him had I know. Outside the house, he acts like a normal, functioning member of society, then at home, he stops all the acting and it's a nightmare.[/quote]

To this poster - I'm just wondering, has your DH been officially diagnosed?  Did he actually go through therapy as a child?  Not coming from a place of judgement... just wondering... have a child going through therapy and DH who I suspect is HFA but not diagnosed, so obviously did not have therapy as a child but has issues now... I have this idea that by putting my son in therapy now, I can set him up for a happier life and avoid the scenario you're describing (which I am living also), but sometimes I wonder if what you're describing is going to be my son's fate anyway.  Maybe it's inevitable.  [/quote]

Different poster. I don’t think it has to be inevitable!  My husband was failed by his parents (at least one is on the spectrum but likely both). They rejected therapy, meds, etc.  I’m certain ALL of those would have helped my husband.  It also would have helped to have one non-Aspie model to follow.  He didn’t get that[/quote]

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