Reply to I don't want to be under pressure when my DH isn't

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a DW who makes more than my DH and who is still overall very happy and satisfied with my marriage.

[b]DH completely picks up the childcare and household slack and does thoughtful things to support me[/b] when I'm under work stress.  He also knows there is a high likelihood of me retiring before him and letting him carry the household with insurance once we've built our nest egg.[/quote]

I make more than my DH but i am not overall happy and satisfied. Why not? Bc of the bolded.
I make more yet I still am the default childcare, household, and even freaking date planner.[/quote]

Its really really hard to split child tasks evenly.  First off most orgs email mom first (though you can use a shared email account for that), but it becomes a project management task on who is going to respond to which email, who is going to buy the clothes for the kids, or plan party, or what.  We have had a lot of conflicting plans, duplicate emails, as well as differences in how we clean and ORGANIZE (this is a HUGE issue, basically we differ on philosophy so keep undoing the other's system inadvertently).

Specialization is much easier when the house is run by one person and you are assigned discrete tasks, but someone has to be the PM for the house (otherwise you are both calling two plumbers to fix leaky faucet), and it generally will be the DW because most communication will be directed to her (and honestly when a DH emails or shows up at a parent meetup, they are the only one and they are ostracized to a large degree in a way that moms are not).

So DH as breadwinner is the best bet, but if you happen to marry a whip smart wife whose career takes off, woe is you.[/quote]

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