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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
The problem is what to do. I recognize a sickness in her but it is hard to receive sympathy or advice from those who can relate to her inadequacies and bitterness and jealousies or those who simply will automatically resent the benefits or privileges I received in life. There's another post in the Expectant Moms forum about a 9 mos pregnant woman riding the metro who was appalled that nobody got up to offer their seat to her. She asked if this is typical of DC. There is cynicism, rudeness, bitterness here among DC area folk that is very apparent to people who lived in other regions before. I think its why DCUM suffers sometimes and why I've been tormented in this thread.

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OP - As a life-long DC resident, I am absolutely heartbroken when I read stuff like your last sentence.  There are rude cynical people everywhere - DC does not have a corner on that.  But the fact that you are unable to see that people have been rude and bitter on this thread because you keep, for example, labeling people with the "rinky dink university" insult is really shocking to me.  I have been on DCUM for a while and have started many threads and I have never ever a single time had a thread that devolved into rude name calling.  Oh sure, every once in a while someone bored at work comes on to sling an insult, but you ignore them, and you focus on the people who are genuinely interested in trying to help, of which there are many - which is why I keep coming back to DCUM.  If you truly and honestly read over this thread, you have exchanged as many rude bitter insults yourself, and the lack of self-awareness with which you have handled this thread is really just unbelievable odd.

I have a cousin who is very much like your sister and I truly truly believe that your sister has some serious issues - I'm not taking that away from you.  But, like many others on this thread, I wonder why you continue to engage her by, for example, telling your mother not to tell your sister that you're pregant when you very clearly are.  Many of us have been gently trying to tell you what that will look like to a sister who already has strong feelings of jealousy and a pattern of anti-social behavior - it will look to her like you and your mother are "continuing" to colude and cut her out of your lives.  EVEN if you don't mean it that way.  The way that I have handled my cousin, who is like I said very similar to your sister, is to act 100% normal and not to spend any time at all thinking about it.  When I was pregnant (and she was desperate for a baby but not even married), I told people in my family just the way I would have if she didn't have jealousy issues.  Not in a "everyone stop and look at me!!!" type of way, but I mentioned it, I emailed, I was happy and excited but not rubbing it in everyone's face.  Frankly, I don't know how she dealt with it because I didn't involve myself in her drama.  I suggest (and many others have suggested) that this might be a better way of dealing with your problem.  Your sister is going to be jealous and you will likely always have a tough relationship with her - minimize contact with her, go about your life as you need to, and think about how your actions and the things you say might look to her.  I truly wish you all the best because I know this can be tough.  But please please please go back and read this thread and understand how you contributed to the nastiness and that it is not at all indicative of the DC I have known and love.[/quote]

I'm the pp who said to drop out of the drama and avoid the triangulation with your mother/sister.  I agree 100 percent wholeheartedly with the above poster and I think many people on here have suggested the same.  I think this advice started out gently enough, but when you responded to some of the snarkier posts by claiming yourself to be 100 percent right and your sister, as well as most of the responders to be fat, unintelligent, jealous, jaded women with TTC issues...well that's where you really lost my patience and respect.  I admit, I now come on here just to see how far you will go, whereas I was initially invested in your story from a compassionate standpoint. I  was routing for you to find some middle ground perspective and make the mature choice.  I see this is not going to happen.  For all of the things you continue to list about your sister (which by the way, sound awful) I strongly suspect you have played a role in.  relationships are rarely if at all based in linear interactions- they are co-created by definition.   I'll never know for sure how you have treated your sister, but it's your behavior on here- the constant need to attack both your sister and the entire DC region that leaves many of us unconvinced of your saintliness.  but we all agree your hair is outstanding.  [/quote]

I never claimed myself to be 100% right about anything. I just said the truth about myself.  You are naive to believe things can't be so one-sided. Yes, they can be and yes they actually are with some families and some women. And you need to seriously go back and reread page ONE of this thread because I never called anyone fat, unintelligent, jealous, or jaded UNTIL the snarky comments started first. It's all on record here so go back and read.[/quote]

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