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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don’t act like it’s some moral virtue to end a marriage before you cheat instead of after. You still broke your vows.

People suck. [/quote]

Trust me.  I'd rather have it end before knowing I had been boning him w.in hours of him having unprotected sex with someone else for years.  The pain and disgust and violation (literally it takes away your consent, you are violated and it feels like assault) when you find out you were not in a monogamous marriage.[/quote]

DP. You're right. When someone cheats, that person's spouse/partner ends up fundamentally sexually involved with every person with whom the cheater has sex. The idea of someone coming home from an AP hookup and then having sex with a committed spouse or partner is revolting. At the very [i]minimum[/i] there is the issue of disease (something rarely mentioned on the many threads here about cheating). Beyond that, there is the betrayal that goes far beyond sexual betrayal.[/quote]

+1,000

THIs one hundred times over. So traumatizing.

If you, like me, had sex about 4 times per week with STBX spouse. It’s so gross and violating…and to find they never used condoms.  There are no words.[/quote]

Weird that no one talks about the real threat of health. We knew a guy that ended up with HPV throat cancer and died. Lifestyle is a big factor.[/quote]

Do you not know how HPV works?
Unless both him and his wife were virgins before they met, lifestyle probably didn’t have much to do with it?[/quote]

Yes.  I know if I was negative the 25 years (and even before I met my husband; only 2 other partners and negative) , if I suddenly tested positive.  That 100% means my husband was unfaithful.

A person that has oral sex with 100s of women (lifestyle), based on odds alone, is more likely to get HPV.  Yes, it could be from one act and you are unlucky, just like HIV.  But, the riskier, condomless and more promiscuous and indiscriminating, you are likely to have many more STIs.[/quote]

Not true.  HPV can be dormant for 20+ years in the body.  You will test negative during this time. [/quote]

That is much more rare.  I never had it.  Two boyfriends- negative before and after.  And negative 25 years of marriage.  Even my Gyn said- yeah- if I were positive one day, I could assume spouse cheated.

A lot of cheaters really hang onto the “dormant HPV, dormant herpes” thing even though in their entire lives they never had symptoms and/or tested positive prior.  It’s the equivalent of “honey, I got herpes from a public toilet seat or a hot tub”.[/quote]

Ok, yeah, you are pretty old to get it now[/quote]

Not if her husband is having an affair or banging randoms.  Duh[/quote]

Too old for sex[/quote]

DP.  You are too young and dumb.  My husband and I are 50 and have sex 3-4 times per week. He needs ZERO help and would do it everyday of the week. We still have a 2-a-day once in awhile.

Given the typical affair happens in middle age (men highest # at 55), you are sorely mistaken.[/quote]

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