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[quote=Anonymous]Enough posters have hit on the solution of having OP's mom stay at her own (local) house and having the DH's parents stay in a hotel. So there is your consensus, OP, for what it's worth. By definition, the consensus is what a "reasonable" person would do.

You mentioned that you are a control freak. Could be that  your husband is, too. I suspect that he fears that access to the newborn by the grandparents is an all-or-nothing proposition -- all for your mom, none for his parents. I think once you balance it out by having no grandparents staying overnight, and making it clear that all grandparents get to lay eyes upon the new wonder in your midst at some point in the early week or weeks, then DH's hostility will fade and his willingness to compromise will increase.

That new baby really needs the two of you -- you and DH -- working as a team. So find the best route to ensuring that both of you can be happy about this grandparent situation (which may mean that both of you are a little UNhappy), and that will set you on the right course for your physical and emotional recovery. He needs to understand better that you're going to need his support and that this will be a physically and emotionally demanding period. But you're less likely to get his full support if he feels like he has no control over whether he gets to share, in person, his joy and pride over the new baby with his parents; he'll be resentful. So have all the grandparents stay elsewhere. As a practical matter, I'm betting your mom will be there a lot of the time during the day and that his parents will pop-in for a few hours for a day or two, and then, having staked their claim to grandparenthood and oohed and ahhed over the new little one, they'll back off and go home.

These are stressful situations with no single "right" answer, but the consensus expressed on this board about having both sets of parents stay elsewhere comes as close as any, IMO. Good luck!

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