Reply to I seemed to have missed the memo to "marry rich"

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Reply to "I seemed to have missed the memo to "marry rich""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Feminism is about empowering women to do what they want.  Not just to get high paying jobs.  If a woman wants to stay home -- that is feminism.  And other women should not be making comments about it.[/quote]

Agreed.  But this forum is filled with women that did that and did not expect to end up divorced or with a cheating spouse in their late 40s/50s after never having been in the workforce.  Alimony is minimal and kids are older so child support won't be there when they are 18.

I think people advocate for some form of employment (even part-time, minimal) to keep one's foot in the door so they have options and aren't stuck in marriages or abusive relationships solely because they can't afford to divorce and live w/out their spouse's salary.[/quote]

Honestly, one reason I have continued to work at least part time and to maintain career contacts is that I fear my partner dying or getting so sick he can't work). His father got cancer twice (two different types), and the second time it killed him. We both have parents who have dealt with longterm medical issues that started in their 50s and lasted the rest of their lives. I could never be comfortable just 100% relying on my spouse for money because anything could happen, and not only do I need to worry about me, I have to worry about our kids.

That said, I still think it's a choice people can make on their own and I think the often angry and judgmental response to SAHMs on this forum is really more about internalized sexism that devalues care work than it's about making sure women are making smart financial choices. You see the same negative attitude about it when a woman has the resources to not have to worry (for instance she has family money or tons of savings from her own career). It's because a lot of women confuse feminism with women doing what men do. It would be awesome if there were more focus on getting men to do more of the care work and housework that all women (SAHMs and WOHMs alike) generally do far more of than their male counterparts. We can't solve gender inequality by just helping the most privileged women gain access to jobs historically dominated by men. That's such a limited and privileged way of thinking about the problem.[/quote]

+1. This is a great comment, although it may be a wasted one here on dcum.[/quote]

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