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Reply to "Seeing OPP (other people’s parenting) up close"
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[quote=Anonymous]Oh, and one thing that helped me is to understand that often the scapegoat is chosen because they are the most psychologically strong and don’t buy into the dysfunctional patterns in the family. That seems like cold comfort as they essentially sacrificed you and your visceral need for human belonging to their junk, but whatever... point is that the reason you have this place is not because something is wrong with you but because you had a healthier sense of self than others in the family. Use that to become very objective about your family. Understanding why they acted as they did, the sources of their patterns and limitations, will eventually give you more empathy for them and also help you not to take what happened personally: it wasn’t because something was wrong with you and your sister was the “good” one (which by the way can cause lingering jealousy and resentment).[/quote]
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