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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Young moms seem to adapt to parenting better. Maybe because they're so young they don't realize what they're giving up yet and so it doesn't feel like as much of a sacrifice?

But the ones I meet almost always seem to cheerful and well adjusted. They seem very go with the flow. They're not the harried, stressed out moms I know in their thirties or forties.

I wonder what it is. Less need for sleep?[/quote]

Not the ones I've met. They're usually stressed for money, their jobs aren't as flexible and kids spend more time in daycare. I even think less patient.

[b]Then again, the moms I know who had kids in their 30s aren't harried or stressed out. We have good spouses and strong savings.[/b][/quote]

is the bolded a joke?

The pandemic proved that was a lie! LOL[/quote]

I had kids when I was 26 and 29 (they’re 9 and 12 now) and reading DCUM makes me feel like I have the only good husband in the DMV. [/quote]

+1, had my first at 27.[/quote]

This is interesting. I also had my first at 27 and have a very strong marriage. I've long thought it's because we were still young enough to be flexible/willing to change as we dealt with the changes that parenthood brings. I know so many 30 somethings who are still single and sooo inflexible in looking for a mate, that I really wonder how they will ever be able to adjust to parenthood, being a spouse, making sacrifices for others, etc. [/quote]

I wonder that too. I also wonder if some men who marry and have kids when they are younger are better husbands and dads not because they are better people, but because they got married and had kids because they really wanted to and not because they felt pressure because of their (or their partner’s) age. I am sure most men who get married and have kids do so because they really want to, but there is a lot less pressure to do so when you’re younger.  [/quote]

NP. I think this is an oversimplification (and you are also probably considering only an extremely narrow subset of young dads - those in stable relationships and on a professional track at work; many young dads do not fit those criteria). You are also ignoring the points made earlier that, in many parts of the country, it is the norm and expectation that you get married and have kids young - I am betting there is more pressure to marry and have kids at 25 in an evangelical community than at 35 in NYC. Anyway, my $0.02: my DH and I started dating in college, got married at 28, and had our first kid at 33. I'm very happy with our choices and wouldn't change a thing. But I also think the expectation for what is a "good husband" is very facts and circumstances too. A SAHM's expectations for her husband are going to be very different from mine (I'm in biglaw) because of a different allocation of labor within the relationship. Neither is "better," but the considerations are totally different.[/quote]

Then maybe it *is* true in the DCUM subset. I don't know. It does seem to track in my social circle. (And I'm also in biglaw.)[/quote]

I think for most working moms (and possibly SAHMs too, though I can't speak to that from personal experience) the issue is mental load. I know it is for me. I love my husband and he does a lot and is reliable, but I still have to quarterback everything. For example, he's happy to carve out time to take a child to the doctor, but he doesn't know when they're due for a checkup, when they last had shots, etc., so I have to track and organize everything and assign out tasks. Anyway this is off topic at this point but I will say, to tie it back to the original discussion, my husband would have been significantly less good at this stuff in his 20s. :)[/quote]

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