Reply to Separated soon to be ex H is moving in with AP... DS has never met her

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is a lot of misinformation and misconceptions in this thread.

Ultimately,  especially without a separation agreement in place, your STBX has every right to do as he pleases with your child. Whether or not that is in your child's best interest I don't know, but legally you don't have a leg to stand on, which you but not others in this thread understand.

It's clear that you are concerned about your DS, so instead of focusing on what your STBX does, as long as he's not putting your child in grave danger (and no, even a 'revolving door of women' is not considered grave danger), focus on what you can do. Be the best parent you can be. If your child seems to need a neutral third party, find a counselor. Just be matter of fact - "it's your time with your dad. Have a great time and I look forward to seeing you when you get back!"

It may very well be in your DS's best interest to spend most of the time with you. While it's not fair in the sense of an equal distribution of labor, arbitrarily deciding that your ex needs to do 50% is not wise, especially if he doesn't want to.

I think your gut is telling you what to do. As someone who has been divorced for over 10 years and whose son was exposed early on to the AP, we now live a happy, independent life as my ex has dropped out of sight (he never pursued custody and we relocated, with permission from him and the court). My son is well adjusted and knows which parent has taken care of him and provided for him. Fair? I don't know. But not a bad ending at all. [/quote]

All seems right in this post, except that the wife has full rights, too, in relation to her son overnights in the absence of the separation agreement. Why is that he can take the son wherever, and at the same time she can't NOT let him take him wherever? It's him leaving the marital home, not her.[/quote]

They can try to work it out between themselves, but the cops and courts aren't going to get involved over this. It's probably in her best interest and the kid's best interest to just let the kid go. Is it shitty? Sure, but life isn't fair and we can't sit around waiting for people who are not team players turn into team players. While it may be unpleasant for the child, he will survive and he can recover from it. OP is best off focusing on what she can control, which is her own parenting and negotiating what she perceives to be in the best interest of their DS in the divorce. [/quote]

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