Reply to Why would a dad not get 50/50 custody?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think sleeping arrangements has much to do with being the primary parent. "Primary parent" means the parent that does most of the childcare. Since the mom works at the school and the dad doesn't get home until 6, I imagine she is indeed the primary parent.

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Oh, and when there are custody disputes, judges try to disturb the kids' lives as little as possible. If they were to live with the dad [b]they would be without one of their parents until 6PM every night[/b]. That could be why.

But sometimes judges are kind of old school and think moms are better caretakers. Only every other weekend seems like not a lot of dad time to me. It's hard to say based on the facts here.

Somebody mentioned an AP. Family courts don't always count affairs against a parent in terms of custody. You can be a bad spouse but a good parent. [/quote]

Many families with two working parents don't see their kids until 6 PM during the week.  Our aftercare is open until 6:30.  Pre-covid, I would usually pick up between 6 and 6:15 and there were plenty of kids still there.

I find it hard to believe that would be held against a parent.[/quote]

It’s not being held against him as a judgment of his parenting. It would just be a factor in how much it would disrupt the kids lives if they were to live with their dad. [/quote]

What I am saying is that I don't think that constitutes a "disruption" to their lives, at least not to warrant a deviation from 50-50 custody.  
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Do you have kids and know what their daily routines are actually like? 50/50 physical is really disruptive unless the parents do the nest thing.[/quote]

No, it is not.  Kids adapt.  If you think it is bad you be the ncp.   [/quote]

My childhood friend was going back and forth between his parents home. After a while he flat out refused to pack his bag to go to the next house. His parents asked him to choose who he wanted to live with but he told them, at 10 years old, he’s not going to and they need to make a better plan. They did and he wound up staying with his mother more. He was happier. [/quote]

One example.  That is not ok. A 10 year old does not get it.  If you advocate child goes with one parent, then that parent should fully provide and terminate the other parents rights as they are no longer a parent but in name only.   In this parents choose and mom won as usual.  [/quote]
What a bizarre response.[/quote]

Very bizarre. My friend was going back and forth for 2 years. He hated that he had to pack his bag every week so that his parents actually got 50/50 time. The agreement was more about them than his happiness. But in the end, he spent time with both parents just stayed at mom's house at night more.[/quote]

I don't know about short-term happiness but the long-term research indicates children have better outcomes (more educational attainment, less crime, less drug and alcohol abuse, less mental problems, higher incomes as adults) when they spend lots of time with both parents, and children have poor outcomes when they spent all of their time with their mothers.[b] In fact, if one had to choose one parent for a child based on long-term outcomes, children would always live with their father. [/b]
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They did this in the old days and it was bad news. [/quote]

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