Reply to Has anyone stayed with a spouse after they had an affair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If I found out DH ever cheated it would over.  I’d never trust him again.  Why stay?  I’m not a doormat.[/quote]

OP, you will get lots of advice like this on this board and from friends and family members if you choose to share. No one can possibly imagine what they would do if confronted with your situation. And everyone’s situation is different from yours. Therapy and introspection will be your best friends in this. And there is no hurry to make a decision. I’m so sorry for your pain. I’ve been there.[/quote]

People who judge like this but who have not been in this situation (knowingly) is party of the reason why I am in so much pain. I am bearing his cheating and lies alone. My entire life blew up in one evening and I’ve been going it alone keeping up appearances at work and at home for my children. My parents, siblings, his family, my closest friends - none of them know or can help or offer me support bc I don’t feel as though I can talk to anyone. I am the PP whose Dh had 4 year affair. I’m dealing with it day by day. Sometimes I want to scream out in pain. Thank god all of us are wearing masks bc there are times at the store and suddenly I am close to breaking down. To the poster above - I could be your friend, your sister, your daughter. Don’t judge. Listen and be empathetic to those around you. You never know what is going on with those close to you. [/quote]

The pain cheaters cause to their spouses (and the spouses of their AP) is incredible.  It’s indescribable unless you have actually been through it.  I don’t know how anyone can cause this hurt to an innocent person.  The AP is guilty in inflicting that hurt as well as they knew an innocent man/woman who would be destroyed if they found out was there.  It’s delusional that they want to think they bare no responsibility in inflicting that pain.  I couldn’t live with myself if I had done that to anyone.[/quote]

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