Reply to Would you look the other way on cheating if everything else was perfect?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband looks the other way on my cheating. I do 90% of everything for the kids and household, make more than he does. We went to therapy; he was told to "step it up." He wants to sleep 9 to 10 hours a day, and do nothing but work and ride his bike and joke around with the kids. He and I didn't live together before marriage so I didn't realize that sex once or maybe twice a week for 15 minutes was perfectly fine for him. I'm the alpha, he's the follower but it really benefits him so he ignores the nights I "go out with the girls."[/quote]

Why are you married to him? It doesn't seem that you respect him. You seem to not have issue attracting other partners. You are obviously financially secure. So what is the reason for having a marriage that you are not loyal in? No snark, honest question. No one ever answers this.[/quote]

Appearances. Mutual friends. Intertwined life together. Kids who enjoy seeing us at the same time. and the big one: I don't want him to have half the money we've accumulated. I've sacrificed a lot and I'm not giving it up so I can pursue someone more perfect for me.[/quote]

What a miserable way to spend this lifetime [/quote]

This, folks, is why posters don't answer these types of questions honestly. I think being alone is miserable. I think giving up half my money is miserable. Don't judge until you have walked a mile in my shoes.[/quote]

If you have a cheating spouse, you are alone, you are very much alone already.[/quote]

NP. I agree with the PP that it does no good to judge others from your perch and with vision that is just as limited as the next human's. Imagine if this poster were someone we know publicly; does changing the people help you become objective? What if this poster were Tina Turner, but she never left Ike? What if this is Hillary Clinton? What if it is Melinda Gates? Some other power couple that has more purpose in their marriage than love? Everyone doesn't weight the same criteria in the manner that you might. Respecting another person's decision doesn't mean you don't value or respect your own. It is pointless to tear others down. You reinforce the walls of your own echo chamber. I am truly interested in understanding. Not everyone thinks and judges and condemns the way some posters do. Thank goodness.[/quote]

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