Reply to Here's the thing I don't understand about husbands who don't help out

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The problem with these threads is that really there are a few different types of couples out there in the wild.

[b]1) The genuinely mutual respectful couple where the guy was raised right and proactively seeks an egalitarian relationship without prompting and the woman communicates well and pulls her weight as well[/b]

2) The mutually respectful couple where the guy didn't grow up knowing this stuff but does love and respect his wife and so works with her to figure out how to be a good husband when she gets upset

3) The crappy husband and wife who tries a million times to get her husband to understand he needs to pull his own weight and he just doesn't really care and will never really exert effort to try to lighten her load

4) The mediocre husband and the wife who responds by nagging and is passive aggressive and hostile

5) The mediocre/crappy husband and wife who just accepts his crappiness and does everything on her own and is miserable but never does anything about it.

All of those couples need different advise and depending on which one you're in you give different advise.  [/quote]

My parents had #1 and my husband was raised by a single mother and had to do his own chores/laundry/cook since she had to work 2 jobs.

We have a #1.  I saw mutual respect and effort and love from both parents and my husband respects women because of watching what his mother sacrificed and did for him...and learned household chores to fend for himself and younger brother.

I cannot fathom a 'traditional' household: women jobs to look pretty and serve the men because my dad was such a great dad to girls and let us know we could do anything and we didn't get out of 'boy' chores like mowing the lawn and my brother didn't get out of 'setting the table', etc.  I became a scientist and a competitive athlete.  I only later found out I was considered 'beautiful' because such little emphasis was placed on looks---it was placed on DOING and accomplishments within one's control.  All of us were also raised to always have a means to support ourselves in life---don't rely on somebody else for that.  You never know what will happen in life---or even what somebody else may be capable of doing.[/quote]

Nice humblebrag 👍[/quote]

I thought it was necessary given this forum is filled with posters that glorify the 1950s model.[/quote]

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