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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Sexless-ness is an acceptable negative outcome from marriage"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I went through a period where I was no longer interested in sex - resentment toward DH, everyday stresses, and hormones. But I slowly came out of that. Unfortunately DH was having an affair. In the end we divorced and my sex life with boyfriend is great. [/quote] You could be my wife. She had resentment towards me, some of it fair, some not. Cut me off, I had an affair was caught, we split. We both have partners we are better suited with, I am sure her sex life is great as is mine. Our kids lost in this if we were both honest about it [/quote] I get that it’s both parties who are at fault but why cheat? Keep your integrity and divorce. Cheating affects your kids as well. What new skills have you learned so that you don’t end up where you are against.[/quote] She cut him off sex so of COURSE he getting it elsewhere. This isn’t really cheating because their marriage wasn’t a sexual relationship so he no longer owed her fidelity. It wasn’t his cheating that affected their kids: it was her hypocritical decision to divorce ONLY upon discovering he is still a normal man having an active sex life. So blame her for their divorce. Maybe the lesson you think he should learn is to officially declare the marriage open?[/quote] Or work on the underlying issues on their marriage??! Obviously his ex wife wanted to have sex but not with him at that time given whatever issues they had. Why not work on the marriage and see if you can fix things? That’s what I asked my ex husband after I found about his affair. He was extremely regretful but it was too much to take at that point. Our family and kids and our extended families suffered greatly bc of our divorce. Nothing will ever be the same again. I’ve moved on and am in a relationship now but I do feel sad for my kids and our families. It was a huge trauma that we still struggle with. I personally struggle a lot with his affair. It’s better of course that we are divorced but it changed me irreparably. [/quote] Maybe one could give you the same response: why didn't you work on the underlying issues in the marriage instead of getting a divorce? Is "blaming the victim" only a one-way street here? [/quote]
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