Reply to How do you get over being ostracized from a group?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]On the flip side, you could consider whether anything they said had a grain of truth.  The times where I have made the most positive changes in my life is when friends have either told me directly or I found out indirectly how my behavior was actually being perceived by others.  Not how or why I thought should be perceived, but how it actually was being perceived.[/quote]

OP here, and no. I am an imperfect person and I'm often open to criticism and change. I've changed a lot in the last year as a result of this experience, for instance. If a friend came to me to tell me that my behavior was problematic or that I had hurt her, I would absolutely be open to listening to that.

I am not going to take on the criticism of people who told me to my face that they loved me and cared about me while also telling other people that they didn't like me and thought I sucked, behind my back. It doesn't matter why they said those things. If they had a problem with me, they either should have told me themselves or chosen not to be my friend. [/quote]

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