Reply to If Affair was in the past, do you disclose?

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Reply to "If Affair was in the past, do you disclose?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Grave...and I am a fanatic about fidelity.

In this case though, you are trying to make it work by going to therapy, I see no point. And it will inflict permanent scars[/quote]

There’s already an issue, why pile on?[/quote]

Because they aren’t working on issues with it hidden.  Cheating is a major issue.  While the affair stays a secret there is very little hope for real change and there are still secrets and dishonesty.  It often takes individual therapy to face the personal issues that enable the cheating.  Those are me wrong properly addressed in couples counseling.[/quote]

People that don’t disclose are not real about changing and investing in the marriage.

Counseling without disclosure is a Half-@ss way to say “well I tried and he/she didn’t change.”  They never had a chance they didn’t know what was at stake or how dire the situation was.  I think it’s like an “exit affair”, e.g., a way to ease out of the relationship with zero responsibility and accountability.  This kind of deceitful person will be good at manipulating the therapist to their side.  Why not? Even the therapist doesn’t know what they are dealing with.[/quote]

They are dealing with a pathological liar, master manipulator...[/quote]

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