Reply to Resentful that ILs only want to help DH’s son and not mine

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Reply to "Resentful that ILs only want to help DH’s son and not mine"

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[quote=Anonymous]I know grandparents who chose to help one child and not others when all of the kids involved were biological grandchildren. In most of these cases, it was the oldest son who received assistance while the others didn't.

I haven't heard of a single case in which the parents didn't take the money. They may have thought it was "unfair," but they accepted the money and did the best they could for their other kids. I suggest OP do the same.

OP still hasn't answered how old her son was when she married her current H. if he was past preschool age, it is unlikely that the step-grandparents ever developed the same emotional bond with the step as with the bio. She also hasn't said why HER step-son's mom isn't in the picture. Did dad's first wife die? Was the first wife the dad's "love of his life," and was the second marriage a more practical arrangement because dad felt he needed help raising a young child? If so, his parents may be well aware of his attitude and influenced by it. If their S doesn't really view the OP's kid as his kid, why should they?

Step-kids and kids aren't the same. And, yes, adoption is different than step. I actually know of a case where a couple chose not to marry, but live together, but after a certain number of years, the man asked to adopt his "girlfriend's" child. He wanted to make sure that if his girlfriend died, he would get custody of the child he had raised as his own. He died first and he left his not inconsiderable estate to the child. He really DID view the child as his--and guess what? His girlfriend had adopted the child as a single mom when she neared 40 and realized she was unlikely to become a bio mom. A few years later, she met a nice guy.

OP has no say in how the step-grandparents spend their money. They also have no say in how the step-grandparents feel about her son. I don't think they are horrible human beings because they feel a greater responsibility to their own grandson than to his step-brother.

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