Reply to When someone contacts you about being excluded from social events

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Really surprised at some of these responses from grown women.  Have some confidence!   If you aren't included at a certain party, book club, etc. there is a 98% chance that it has nothing to do with anyone excluding you-- but a much more mundane reason like their kid doesn't get along with yours, they only were inviting 10 kids to the party and your kid wasn't close to theirs, they already have 8 people in the book club and 9 would be too many, etc.  Not everyone needs to be friends with everyone, and not everyone needs to be invited to every social event -- that does not make the moms "mean girls" or the mean the left out mom is not liked.  The fact is that most families are really busy and focused on their own lives, and not really paying super close attention to whether there may be a family they don't know too well that they should consider inviting to their next BBQ.  Maybe I am naive, but I wouldn't think that most women in their 30s and 40s have the time or inclination to be mean girls.[/quote]

Finally. A well-adjusted, normal response from a rational, self-aware, mature adult.

Finally.[/quote]

It really depends. I know enough moms to know, while it's not common, it does still happen. I know because I was friends with that mean mom that made a sport out of picking who would be invited and who wouldn't and talked about it and gossiped incessantly about others. The closer you were to her, the more she targeted you. I distanced myself when I realized how judgemental and mean she was because who has time for that nonsense, but it absolutely does exist. For this particular situation, no I don't think the person should have been invited to the drive up party but I very much got the impression it was an ongoing thing with this group. Also, consider yourself very fortunate that you have not run into this. I am lucky to have found so many wonderful mom friends, but I have seen just how toxic and damaging someone like this can be to in group dynamics. While I am fairly in the know of things being a SAHM who is very involved, I have had at least a dozen female mom friends tell me they feel like it's hard to break in, it's awkward to go to meetings for things, they are busy and don't have time to keep up and just want people to be NICE if they run out of work early to make it to some parent meeting without getting the cold shoulder or invite their kid along even if they don't have time to plan a thousand playdates. [/quote]

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