Reply to I can’t do this anymore. I think I am having a mental meltdown

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I will do what's best for the overall health and safety of my family. If that means we continue to shelter-in-place, then so be it. My kids go outside and play every day. They sometimes play at a distance with other kids. My older kid connects with friends online. I took my kids to the park on Monday, but we kept our distance from other people. This isn't an all or nothing situation, and it never really was. You just have to be mindful, careful, and minimize people contact at this junction. It won't last forever. Yes, its very, very challenging teleworking, being tech support, teaching kids, and trying to make sure assignments are turned in, particularly when teachers are vague, but it is what is for now. I haven't been 100% successful and I dare anyone at work or school to complain about it. I am doing my best.[/quote]

+ 1

I thinnk people who are having mental breakdowns are the ones who were not very involved parents even before COVID.  I think the pandemic has made it clear how dysfunctional many families were.  That is the reason child abuse and domestic violence has increased to. Earlier people could escape outside the home. Now we are at home and if it is not a haven then everything falls apart.

It is not an all or nothing situation. People are being creative and kids are also playing outside, studying and connecting with friends online. Is your house is a bit messier? Are the chores not done? Have you not been folding clothes after doing laundry? Yes. For most of us all of this is happening and these are minor inconveninces.  There are a lot of benefits of staying at home too - kids being able to sleep in duing the week, No commute, Being with family, leisurely pace of school work, no running from one EC to another...these are all benefits that evens out the drawbacks. [/quote]

Wait what? Are you saying that if you’re having a hard time now that means your family was already dysfunctional or you were a checked out parent? That’s ludicrous.[/quote]

DP here. Yes, I think parents who were super hands off/checked out before or outsourced at ton of things are struggling more now. I am SAHM whose husband works a regular 40 hour/week job. We didn't outsource cleaning or have childcare beyond an occasional date night. This hasn't really been that much of an adjustment for us other than everyone missing friends, which is a little better now that we are seeing people outdoors. [/quote]

I have a different take. I think the parents who were very controlling before, such that their kids didn't have unapproved interactions and who already limited playdates, no exposure to babysitters, no group camps, etc., are not struggling. This is their dream, in fact -- they can isolate and control their kids even more. [/quote]

This is sooooo spot on! Now the controlling parents are even more emboldened than they were before, and now they can judge everyone else. It really is about control. I sense a lot of anxious kids in our future.[/quote]

No sweetie, good parents probably avoided letting their kids play with yours because they can spot negligent parents and poorly bought up children.  Functional families have a way to make things work.  If you have not lost your job and are in good health, then this pandemic is nothing that cannot be endured with grace.  People are freaking out because they have to feed the kids or keep the house clean or educate them, even though they are working from home and can take out time to post on DCUM.  It is lack of planning and organization that has made these parents into failures. Many parents are lacking in adulting skills like cooking, cleaning, teaching elementary school kids or even knowing how to parent.  Many parents are drinking, being neglectful and being unhappy because they want someone else to be with their children.

They are having a MENTAL MELTDOWN.  Well, there is probably going to be another 18 months of this stuff.

[/quote]

Imagine having a 40+ hour a week job on top of whatever it is you do. This is why I say, SAHMs should probably step back and let the grownups talk about grownup topics.[/quote]

Then quit, take a leave of absence, or find childcare.  
It’s hardly the fault of some SAHM that you can’t manage your life.  [/quote]

I have childcare (a nanny). I am living my best life right now. But I know many people whose kids were in daycare, and it’s tough to interview or trust a new nanny right now. Or some people have SN school-age kids and it’s hard to manage them while working. Anyone with two brain cells can understand that there are tough situations that don’t arise out of dysfunctional families. Anyone who doesn’t (like this SAHM) should probably stop participating in discussions above their level of understanding.[/quote]

The SAHM's inability to empathize is disturbing.[/quote]

Sorry, but if you are a superwoman WOHM who does everything a SAHM normally does and kills it at work too, then this should be a piece of cake, no?

You are a smart woman and can fix your life.  You cannot have a mental meltdown because you are now doing what women  around the world do every day.  Get up early to finish cooking for the day. Clean in small spurts during the day.  If you are efficient at your work then you have a lot of time at home. You are saving on commute time.  You also have the weekend to be organized.  Get in the habit of spending time with your kids. You gave birth to the children, then why expect someone else to spend time with them?  Buck up. You can do it all and do it better than SAHMs. [/quote]

Huh? I don’t know any FT WOHM who claim to do it all without school or daycare/nanny. If they do, then they can’t have very real jobs (“mommy blogger” doesn’t count)[/quote]

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