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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Another thought.  You said that the shelters near her in California were full.  There are a ton of shelters in the NoVa area including a number just for women.  You should call around tomorrow and find out if there are any that have openings.  I'm fairly certain that there are.  If you find a shelter with an open space, then pay the change fee for her ticket, fly her out to VA and put her in a shelter.  If it is close enough, she can come over during the days to allow you to work and not have to multi-task to help kids with their on-line learning and try to work with your boss blowing up your phone.  You ask your mother to supervise the kids.  If your kids miss a few days of remote learning, it won't be the end of the world.  Then you can focus on working.

When you mother objects, just tell her that this is temporary.  You can agree that if and when the stay at home orders in California are relaxed, she can contact her old boss.  If her boss offers her her old job back, tell her you will buy her the plane ticket to go back to California and resume working.  If not, keep her here.  The shelter should be a good place for her to stay until either the stay at home orders are cleared and she can resume working, her unemployment payments come through, or until you. lease expires.  If your lease expires and she is still in the shelter and still cannot return to California, you can find a slightly bigger place to have her move in.  Yes, I understand the pure stress you will be under trying to live in the same home with your mother and all of the problems from your problematic childhood, but the stress of living under the same roof is likely to be less than the stress of trying to multitask working full time, caring for 2 children including schoolwork and trying to help your mother 3300 miles away.  If you can just get her here, in a shelter so that you aren't worrying about her surviving the next few hours, that should be worth something.

Your mother cannot stay in California.  The temperatures are already hot (80s) and rising.  Even if you get her a new car, she won't be able to afford the gas to keep the engine running to run the A/C.  At her age and with the dangers of Covid-19 it is very dangerous for her.  Between the heat and the pandemic, she's in a lot of danger right now.  She needs shelter and food and while you might be able to afford a car, she would then need insurance.  She may be uninsured now because she doesn't have a car payment.  If you buy a car on a loan with a car payment, the bank/loan holder will require her to have insurance and the first premium will be due before she can take possession of the car.  A new car, even a used one, is not a realistic option.  Shelters are full.  She has no where to stay, can't survive the heat and pandemic; she cannot stay in California.[/quote]

Most have residency requirements so flying mom out without a clear bed is a really bad idea.[/quote]

This is true of many senior services in my home state. What surprised me about the affordable senior housing in my VA county is that there were allowances for parents of residents.  Of course, mom must be capable of living independently in that mainstream facility.  If she’s been homeless for awhile she will likely need other services.[/quote]

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