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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

And my husband roughhouses with them a lot. Play fights, and he lets them beat up on him, and he is rough with them.  I don’t like that stuff, so I draw pretty clear boundaries with me in terms of hitting, etc.
.[/quote]

Can you describe this more? A friend of my husband play fights with his son and I’ve found the way they fight to be especially violent. Once he threw the kid several yards and I was afraid he’d break a bone. This friend always stuck me as being “off” and he always had to be ‘dominant’. The family moved away so I don’t know what happened to them.
Not saying this is what your husband is like, but that story came to mind and I’m wondering if your children are modeling the behaviors they see in their father.[/quote]

It’s just how my husband plays with them and connects with them. The kids absolutely love it. But it does get them all riled up and I do feel like the lines get blurred as to what’s ok and what’s not. They hit and fight each other.  When they all roughhouse, it almost always ends in the 5yo getting hurt and crying or he gets too wild and my husband starts yelling at him. It’s not abusive, but I do feel like it’s their way of getting out their pent up frustrations out with each other.[/quote]

OP, if your story is real and you’re not a fiction writer testing out a plot point, your internal barometer has been messed up by an abusive childhood. My husband roughhouses with our kid— serious play fighting, hitting, wrestling— and she NEVER gets hurt or ends up crying and he never ends up yelling at her. It’s not supposed to be a way of getting out pent up frustrations AT each other— at least not from the adult in the direction of the kid. [/quote]

Yeah honestly we’ve fought about it. And he has toned it down a notch. Husband’s argument is that they beg him for it so it’s on them if they get hurt. It does drive me a little crazy.[/quote]

What??

Your whole family is seriously not within normal limits.   Your husband isn't worried about letting your kids get hurt, just that "it's on them"?   When they are 5 and 8 and have no real judgement?
You are ok with your 8 year old seeing you passed out with a black eye (umm, how do you "play fake" a black eye?) and has long enough to take your phone, find a game and load it and start playing it before you wake up?  And you aren't concerned about this?

You were passed out for that long for some reason that seems as many readers say impossible and aren't going to see a doctor because that is seriously abnormal?

And your son was laughing at you when you woke up ?  At least you are upset about that.

I have a 7 year old with ASD and serious social skills problems and I would be very, very upset if he behaved the way your 8 year old did.  We discuss that when someone is hurt, what you do, explictly.  For your 5 year old I would definitely have him evaluated for ASD.

And your DH should STOP the roughhousing.  For the love of god!!!

Please, please, all of you get therapy now.  And I've written probably 100 replies on this board and never  said that.  I hope this fake or at least highly exaggerated because you are *all* SO messed up.
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Sorry, PP here, the 5 year old needs to be evaluated for ADHD (not ASD).  The complete lack of impulse control (which is what laughing and punching you must be) is not normal. Even for a 5 year old boy.
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