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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One more time: if you stay in the process, you are guaranteed a spot in a sorority.

This is all computer run now.

The scenario where you won’t get a bid:
-you suicide (only list one house in the matching program as a preference when you were supposed to list more)
-you drop out

This is how it works TODAY. Your experiences 5, 10, or 20 years ago are not relevant, but I’m not sure some of you care that things have changed. Get over it. [/quote]

why do you keep leaving out the scenario where a girl isn’t invited back to any houses on a certain day and is thereby dismissed? 
It happens currently and often. [/quote]

The three most patronizing things sorority girls and alumni say to girls who are not picked during rush:

1. “Everyone gets a bid if you maximize your options”. It’s not like the girls who are dropped from a bunch of houses are assigned randomly the other  houses. These girls who say this would actually never join or socialize with the houses to which these fortunate option maximizing rushers are invited. Especially not the ones that are an assembly of anyone who other houses passed over. Many times these are the  houses that other girls don’t want or even struggling chapters that can’t fill and may not being around by graduation. .

2. “It all works out! You will end up in the house that’s right for you”. I think this just means the house where the girls are just as pretty and rich or athletic as you. And who is “just right” for the leftovers house described above?!?!  They didn’t even pick each other.

3. “It’s ok if you didn’t get into a sorority because you can join a club”. Um ok so if it’s no big deal vs a club why are you still talking about your affiliation and lifelong sisters 50 years later. People ain’t talking about their student events or newspaper affiliation in their retirement homes lol. Also when do you see girls writing “yearbook committee” with a buncha hearts in their social media profiles or wearing yearbook committee hoodies and attending yearbook committee formals?

4. “Maybe Greek life is not for you”. Um... except what if it was but they were oversubscribed and didn’t have room for you. Or if it’s more like you weren’t right for Greek life.

Please ladies acknowledge that it sucks for girls that really wanted to enjoy the benefits and sisterhood of sorority life but instead to have to watch it for four years through the shop window!  They’re 18 year olds who may have dreamed of a sisterhood of soul compatible philanthropy-minded women that apparently lasts a lifetime if you read grownup women’s Facebook posts.

We get that not everyone is pretty or popular enough to get into these clubs. But acknowledge reality and show some true empathy. Especially if you’re the type that has a rush coach or you’re the third generation of kappa kappa dus in your family and would transfer if you didn’t get a bid. [/quote]

1-3 may be true and crappy but that doesn't mean #4 is.  I dropped out of UVA rush in 2003 the night of prefs because I just couldn't see myself joining either of the houses to which I was invited.  I thought they were "second tier" and thus not worth it.  In hindsight, I probably could have had a great 'sisterhood' experience had I embraced one of them, but in the grand scheme of 'sliding door' moments, it doesn't even crack the top 10.  A decade years later, my sister rushed (successfully!) at UVA and accepted a bid at what would have been my dream house.  It was her third choice and she was deflated to be cut from the other two.  I think she'd say her Greek experience was mostly positive, but she wasn't/isn't a big partier, and has really only leveraged the alumnae network to find roommates in her current city.

OP, I think you're right to be a supportive sounding board for your child.  But I would caution you from encouraging/exacerbating/buying into the over-inflation of Greek life importance.  [/quote]

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