Reply to If I do, how horrible a human am I?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Agree with Dan Savage on this topic in this instance (although I think he gives this pass too quickly) - if sleeping with this person will fulfill that need for you and allow you to stay in a committed marriage to someone you love and care for, it makes you a better partner, not worse.  Of course some DH's in this situation would gladly give you a pass (or even make this your sex life - you going out and getting some and then coming home to talk about it), but I'm guessing yours isn't one of them since you didn't mention asking him.

OTOH, do not do this if recently-divorced guy is on your radar as more than a FWB, or if you think he will develop feelings and want you to leave your husband.[/quote]

Man here and I agree 100% wit the above approach. If I were in that situation, I would assume this may be happening unless my wife were very old.   I also think this is true the other way around.  There is really no difference for the sexually interested partner between a man who can't get an erection and a woman who won't because she has lost all interest/drive, but I suspect most women on DCUM will scream "cheater, cheater" in that case.  [/quote]

I am a woman and I do say it's cheating in BOTH cases.  Trust is a cornerstone in a marriage and so why not talk about it and come to  a solution that both of you agree on?  Otherwise, leave it up to the husband in this case on how he wants to proceed.  At least he feels that he has agency in his life.  What you assume will happen in your life in this situationis not what everyone would assume will happen in their life. Divorce is an option and so why cheat?[/quote]

I agree PP, but feel like you're either ignoring or not acknowledging the sew-sidge question (and can never remember if the S word i hyphenated! lol)  [/quote]

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