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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] Reading some of these responses— like the one above saying the husband is “missing his dad goggles”— makes me feel very sorry for dads who went into it with some ambivalence and are now coming under criticism and shaming from women who believe you can’t be a good dad if you aren’t 100% in love with the experience. [/quote]

Think it from the child’s POV. Think of it from YOUR child’s POV. Wouldn’t it break your heart to know that your child’s father isn’t 100% in love and all in all the way on the experience?

Eventually the ambivalence becomes known to the child and it breaks something inside of them.

Lots of shattered adults out there because they had crappy, neglectful parents who didn’t shower them with love and acceptance.[/quote]
I’m the PP. I agree with you. I believe that parents who are ambivalent need to actively put forth the effort not to convey that ambivalence to their children. I’ve had to do this myself and have found that “faking it until I make it” helped me get through the years when the kids were small and I really questioned what I’d done. Now they are older (8 and 10) and my feelings have transformed. I can’t imagine life without them. But I can guarantee that they never realized how ambivalent I was in their earlier years because I forced myself to actively engage with them even though i didn’t feel it.[/quote]

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