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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm the opposite.  I waited and have so, so, so many regrets.

I grew up in a religious household where premarital sex was very much frowned upon.

I didn't have my first kiss until 16 and the most I did in college was some dry humping and lots of touching.  No oral either.

I feel like I had way more boyfriends than my peers because of my abstinence.  It was hard to make a good connection with a guy because as soon as he found out about how I was waiting until marriage, his interest dropped to near 0%.  There were some who stayed with me but those were the ones who used me as a type of challenge (to take my v-card).

I finally met the right guy when I was 23, got engaged at 24 and married just before 25.  We were both virgins and just ready to do it by that point.  The engagement and wedding all felt very rushed because we both wanted to get it over with so we could have sex.

It was awful.  It lasted minutes and left me crying afterwards in the bathroom.  Not because of how special and significant it was like I'd been told, but because it was a total let down.  I was texting with my best friend on my wedding night about how upset I was.  Who does that?!  She told me it would get better but holy crap, it took forEVer to get better.  We would go at it 5, 6, 7 times a day after that night and each time I was left upset and on the verge of tears.  It always lasted minutes and he had even less experience than I did (went to a religious university and didn't really date much or do more than kiss).  I then found out he was very anti-oral (giving) and just okay with receiving.

We had a year of terrible sex and another year of just okay sex before he agreed to see a sex therapist with me.  He (his request - it had to be a man) finally got him to understand that women needed more than a few quick pumps to be satisfied and my husband allowed us to bring a toy into the bedroom.  I had my very first orgasm just after turning 28 and after 3 years of marriage.  We persisted on for 2 more years with lots of therapy and counseling before we separated.

Divorced at 30 with just one mediocre sexual partner is not awesome, let me tell you.  My therapist was amazing, though, and really helped me unlearn so many of the religious teachings that had been drilled into me.

I'm still a religious person but do not believe that sex before marriage is bad.  You do need to test drive that car before you buy it.  I always laughed at that when I heard it before my experience but I do now believe it 100%.

I had a LOT of sex after my divorce, gained a lot of confidence in that area, and have now been happily married for 3 years.  We are not raising our kids to believe that sex before marriage = bad.    [/quote]
Thanks for sharing this and I'm quote glad that you've found peace and happiness.[/quote]

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