Reply to Wife chronically depressed, blames everyone everything for her unhapiness&unfullfillment, I want out

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Reply to "Wife chronically depressed, blames everyone everything for her unhapiness&unfullfillment, I want out"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My depression was a big factor that led to divorce. I wish my ex had PUSHED me to treatment with the truth "I love you. You aren't the funny, happy person I married. I hate seeing you suffer and your suffering is making our whole family miserable. You need to get treatment or I'm not sure our marriage will survive."[/quote]

I think this script is the best recommendation on the entire thread.[/quote]

OP, this is good advice.  Please don’t leave her without letting her know your thoughts.

You’ve tried to do the right thing and so consider this as the next right action.  Give her a chance.  It’s worth it for both your and your kids future.[/quote]

OP here. This script is helpful. thankyou.[/quote]

+1 on the script.  Make this about *her* living a happy meaningful life.  You might read a book called "I'm not sick; I don't need help" by Xavier Amador.  He is a doctor who has a mentally ill brother (schizophrenia or bipolar, I forget....)  It focuses on an aspect of mental illness called "anosognosia" which means that the person who is mentally ill doesn't recognize that they are ill (also true in some neurologically based illness/disorders).  Amador writes a lot about how to talk and ally with a person in a way that helps them help themselves to get treatment and to pursue goals that are good for them (and good for you).

Also, please consider taking the NAMI Family to Family class.  It will teach you a lot about all aspects of mental illness which you will need to understand whether you stay together or divorce.

There's another book I like about the choices caregivers make to stay or to leave or something in between -- Burden of Sympathy, by David Karp.  I think everyone comes out in a slightly different place depending on facts about the illness, the degree to which the person is able to recognize their illness and struggle to get better, kids, presence/absence of violence, financial risk, personal ethics/values, etc.  [/quote]

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