Reply to Boyfriend Texts Ex-wife Too Often

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]I get why it sounds cruel. Yes, he was married but [b]it was a shell of a marriage.[/b] [b]He hadn't been really happy for at least 10 years or more. [/b]I'm not super annoyed by the texts just trying to figure out if there's more behind it. Most people commenting seemed to have missed where [b]I said they hated each other.[/b] Is it not odd that they'd be friendly now? It's a turn I wasn't expecting and I have to admit that it did provide a little sense of security for me seeing them at each other's throats.

In less than five years the kids will be off to college so it's okay if they don't like me because they'll be gone most of the time soon anyway. I will just continue to be nice.[/quote]

I want you to read all of this, but consider that your boyfriend is not a reliable narrator of his own situation.

What is most of this was a lie, meant to get your sympathy and to make him seem more available than he was? What if it wasn't a "shell" of a marriage until he started cheating? What if he hadn't been unhappy for 10 years? What if they didn't really hate each other, but hated the divorce enough to project hatred on one another?

Basically, you fell for the oldest 40+ man trick in the book. Your boyfriend told you a pack of lies. He may have even believed them at the time, because that's what liminence plus a midlife crisis do to your brain. But now that the dust has settled and liminence has worn off (it takes roughly 12 months), he's wondering if he made a mistake by blowing up his family for something that's now looking kind of...normal. [/quote]

+1 the word is "limerence" btw[/quote]

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