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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]All I am telling my whiny bro is to not think about his baby and wife. Nice.[/quote]

No, he ONLY thinks about them. I would like him to also see his friends, go to the gym, get a haircut... all things he needs and that is wife is already doing. They have a full time nanny and help with cleaning so he could do all those things if he wanted. [/quote]

Oh good grief lol. Barring some sort of  disability or expectation of physical abuse (which surely doesn’t seem to be the case here) of COURSE your brother CAN do those things. I’ve heard of “mommy martyrs” but apparently there are “daddy martyrs” too. Who knew.

Reminds me of when my younger sister called me after she had her first baby- complaining “I can’t even find time to shower, I haven’t had my roots done in months!” Blah blah. While I can sympathize, My response was “uh of course you can- hand baby to DH and get in the shower. Of course you can get your hair done- make appt for when DH will be home and tell him you are going” lol. My response was not “OMG! Your DH is controlling and abusive!” Wow!

Your brother CAN do all of those things. Yes all of them. He is choosing not to for whatever reason and acting like a giant baby and whining to his sister “oh poor me!!!” Your SIL cannot prevent him from doing any of these things- and even if she is miffed at times- that’s marriage. They will work it out. [/quote]

That is what I said. He CAN do those things, but chooses not to. He is only thinking of his wife and baby given their bad situation and I would like him to think also about himself. [/quote]

OMG.  He’s a grown man.  He can get a haircut on his own initiative.

You did need to “want” things for your brother.  Save that boundary-smashing for your own kids.[/quote]

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