Reply to Going to DIL's for first time for Christmas

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it’s hard to tell tone online but a lot of people are responding to perceived passive-aggression in your posts. The evidence: your saying you are “relegated” to wine and muffins when that is a total reasonable thing to ask a guest to bring, “That’s fine” when it seems it is not fine for you, saying your son and his wife want to “try their hand” at hosting like they are ridiculous children, and saying you’re “not allowed” to wear perfume as though you’re looking for things to be offended by when you asked a bunch of anonymous strangers for advice.

Maybe this is just a written text tone problem, but if you give off a tone in person of “sigh, I guess i will just sit here and bite my tongue about the right way to do everything even though I am the expert who’s been doing it for decades but it’s fine, don’t worry about me” then you might want to work on that bc it is not a good way to build a good relationship with your son’s family. [/quote]

This is so true.  At some point op you started hosting yourself, I'm sure you didn't want family causing you trouble or making snide comments or criticising you.  I'm sure you wanted family to attend and just enjoy the day or meal.

I just don't get for the life of me why it is so hard just going and relaxing. A lot of your comments do come off as you feel you have been relegated into the background.  If that chip on your shoulder comes through loud and clear in written text I can't even imagine how loud and clear it would be in person.  You may think you hide it well but let me tell you, people can be very perceptive and your DIL will pick up on your attitude even if you think you are hiding it.[/quote]

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